I just moved. My place is still a mess. I have to much stuff. I hate stuff. I want to get rid of most of it. I haven't lifted in about a month. I hate it. I need to go back to the gym.
Well, I have caused trouble at my workplace. I am just doing my job, but some people don't like that. I love it. I think they are scared, because someone knows whats going on and sees the whole picture. It's fun though because I know I got nothing to lose and I'll go all out. I am confident of my findings and if someone can present credible evidence to the contrary I am willing to listen.
I ended the attempt at manipulation very quickly. I nipped it in the bud as they would say. I am begining to see the whole political picture within the company. I see where people stand now and I am starting to formulate a strategy. For sure there is a definate lack of information sharing. Blame is being placed in the wrong places because no one knows where the root of the problem is. If I expose the root of the problem will people recognize it. I have a plan for building evidence against the problem. Also I am gathering alternative solutions. It is kind of fun to go into work everyday and try and figure out ways to expose this problem. There are definately a lot of potential allies, I just have to approach them in the right way so they see that it benefits them.
Well somone at work is trying to control me. They just started this crap today. I avoided the person as much as possible. Can't wait for tomorrow because they are going to get the business. I refuse to have the project underminded by a manipulative person who has no clue about the technical complexities of the system. All I hear is this phrase "business requirements." It should be changed to "bullshit requirments." Not that it isn't valid but everyone uses it way to much to justify things. Seems there is a lack of vision or ability to see the big picture. Not everybody but some people I have met. The people who seem to want to do things right have to fight and scrap just to get stuff accomplished.
Overall everyone is nice, designers are cool, programmers are cool. Though sometimes I get the feeling one of the programmers is putting up a strong front. I think this person is aware of the reality of the situation but will never admit it in the open. It would be better if this person would. I don't get it. I think it will be troublemaking day tomorrow. They really fucked up, I don't understand how they let an outside firm screw them into installing such a crappy system.
I saw Harold and Kumar tonight. It was funny. Still need to see a few more movies before I am caught up. Can't wait to get back to work. What I enjoy most is the office politics that surround me everyday. Since I don't care and have nothing to lose I am an instigator. The worst they can do is fire me, HA! I am just out to do my job and that is it. If I help and hurt some people along the way then that is how it goes. It is entertaining to see people try to get ahead by playing the political game. I hate that shit and hope I never resort to it. If I can't get ahead through just good work then I don't want to get ahead anyway else. I am definately cocky when it comes to the project I am working on. I pretty much think that anything is possible and obstacles are meant to be overcome. The attitude of some people around there can be submissive. Doing a good job seems to be subservient to the company's rules and regulations. It retarded as far as I am concerned. Screw their rules I am just there to get the job done. I am the consultant, a mercenary. People will do anything to keep their job even if it means doing a bad job or not finishing things. It's sickening to see that kind of stuff. I definately stirred things up last week with a particular report on lack of efficiency. I have to come up with a new way to raise hell this week. I am really starting to question the motives of certain people in the department. Doesn't seem like they are there to perform but there just to be there. But that seems to be how it is in most companies. Very few people are there because they like it and want to do an exceptional job. I am trying to learn as much a possible from the most technical people in the department. Although I question their ability and knowledge I still can learn things from them. I am never above learning from people even if I do question their ability.
I was just thinking today about something. This is kinda far fetched but it motivates me. What if they hired me because they thought I was an idiot kid who didn't know anything. I don't think they did but it motivates me to think that someone(a particular someone) recommeded my hiring because they thought they could control or manipulate me because I didn't really know much. Well they are in for a rude awakening. It is almost assured that is not the case but if it is, ha! One thing I do realize and this is very true is that overall the deparment has a lack of deep technical skill and it has really hurt them in certain areas. No worries though that is what I am here for. I'll battle whoever steps up and want to challenge me.
I was thinking about one of my previous post where I said I hadn't met a true challanger to my technical ability. There is one person I forgot to mention that matches my technical skill in both depth and knowledge. That person is Mark Remolino. He possess not only a deep skillset but a wide one also. The only thing I have on him is more work experience in large companies but other than that he would be my equal in technical ability. Yes Mark you are a god among mortals join me on Olympus.
These clowns at MBNA are making me want to vomit. Everyday I discover increasing amounts of backwardness and inefficiencies. If this is suppose to be one of the top credit card companies I can't imagine what a bad one would be like.
Haven't been to the movies in about a week, which is a long time for me. A few have come out that I would like to see and other that I will see just for the hell of it. There is probably about 4 or 5 movies that I want to see. I'll see them soon. I have work tomorrow, which is good. I like work a lot. As soon as they give me the software I need to start programming it will get better. I really have nothing much to say. This posting engine is still freaking awesome.
Slow is the only way to describe MBNA right now. I love the actual work, when I am able to do it. But I am waiting for two things right now. First is the software to do what I need to do, second is time to sit down with another person to diagram things. I can't really say much about internal workings because there is probably some confidentiality thing and I just want to cover my bases. I could have this project done in a month. I probably shouldn't say this because it is extremely arrogant but I am going to say it anyway. I have yet to find a person who can match my technical ability and present me with a true challenge. I have had challenging projects but I want to face someone who can match the breadth and depth of my skils and knowledge. I don't think I have found that challenge yet. For sure I have run into people who posses skills and knowledge much greater than mine in specific areas but never matching the breadth at the same time. I want to meet somebody who could really just kick my ass when it comes to any aspect of technology. Unless they hire somebody new soon I figure myself to be the most technically savy of anyone in the department by a wide margin. I read and hear about these brillant computer engineers and whatnot, but haven't met any one truly impressive yet. Maybe a few teachers at Villanova but even their knowledge could be somewhat narrow in scope sometimes. I am particularly frustrated by those who for whatever reason or another are biased or stick only to particular technology groupings. Windows vs Mac OS, Oracle vs MSSQL vs MySQL. You are suppose to be a problem solver and true problem solvers use every tool they can get their hands on. Sure there are some who simply don't have time or the desire to diversify but those who stick to one system and bash other systems while never taking the time to learn something about them really stick in my craw.
Been reading a lot of different things lately. Really want to work on my Japanese, Chinese and Spanish. Especially Japanese. Maybe I can take that test again in December.
I actually like the job I am doing. Weird, in fact I really like it. I can't wait to get to work and don't want to leave. The only issue is that their pace for getting things done is a slower than mine. I am waiting for things a lot right now. But that will end soon and I will be able to go at my grueling pace. Doing a pretty good job of balancing work at MBNA with personal projects. Personal websites are progressing.
I pulled out my cryptography book yesterday. Studying that. I actually remember some math. Ha!
I program for more than 16 hrs in a day. If I am not programming at work I am programming at home. Code is all I see right now. ESG's website is really looking good and coming together nicely. I have to get used to the atmosphere at work. I definately want to keep things but it is difficult. People don't hate their jobs but there is a definate lack of fun. I am going to change that by fixing their production system so people can not worry about the system and loosen up. I love the work I am doing and get excited about it but for the moment I hold back some. So far I have recieved praise. Soon I am going to let it fly they will not know what hit them. I have all these ideas of how to rebuild their system and want to get moving quickly. It is kind of like with my websites I build freelance. When I get an idea I get excited and do a whole lot of work. The parts I get stuck at are design issues. But on this project I am working with a designer so I won't have to deal to much with that which is good. Well, back to work
First day of work today. It went well. Should be a good project and good experience. I already have learned some things about CSS that I didn't know before. I will definately use that trick in my website projects. I had to go check the alarm at my parents house today. It took a huge chunk out of my day and threw off my schedule. I didn't lift today but I will tomorrow. I hate not lifting, I feel like trash when I don't exercise enough. I just have to say again that this new interface for managing my posts is freaking awesome. It makes things so much eaiser and I can use HTML within the content. An idea came to me today for a phone website and addition to this site. Form to email from a phone.
The title of this post has nothing to do with anything. It is just the title of a No Doubt song. It's late and I have to go to work tomorrow. Now that work has started I will probably have no time to do anythig besides work. Either at work or on my own websites. It really doesn't matter I don't do anything else besides work, or really have anything to do besides work. My arm hurts a lot, it is a dull pain and I have had it all day. My stomach pain has almost disappeared which is strange. Maybe it is just stress. Sometimes I get stuck at certain points while working on websites. It is really annoying. Like right now I just have to make a few final changes to one website and I'll be done. But I just can't get over the hump. The times on posts prior to June 13th, 2004 are incorrect. I hate life.
Well I start work tomorrow at 10am. I guess I am excited. Definately excited about the actual project. I want to blow through this project at fast pace. Getting closer to the launch of one of my many websites. I am getting more confident about this particular website everyday. It might actually start bringing in money within a few months. I hope to launch in 2 weeks or less. Also getting close to finishing the software for another site. This is all I got left, website software. Beyond that my life is empty. At least I am done school finally. I have so many website software projects. One of them has to be successful then maybe I'll find some redemption in that. The fact that I seek redemption is probably bad in itself, what do I need to redeem myself for? All my failures, to many to count but I remeber them all.
Minellas!?! Apparently Minella's Diner was actually moved. The current owner who bought Minella's in 1998 sold the actual building to some guy in Florida and they moved the old building there. How weird is that. Well maybe it isn't weird in the world of diners but I think it is weird. Some developer bought the building and moved it to Florida, ha.
I had the best Indian food today. Freaking awesome Chicken Tikka Massala from this place on South St. called Lovash or someting like that. It was a bit expensive no doubt but well worth it. I'll definately go back there. The atmosphere of the place was great also. It was a small place but had an open airy feel. Even though it had no A/C it wasn't uncomfortable. It looked like some work was being done but the fact that everything wasn't new and shiny I liked.
Lots of website work but no money as of yet. It might be this way for at least 6 months or longer. Luckily I have the job at MBNA to bring in money for a bit. I have been doing more research into WAP, WML, SMS, MMS, J2ME etc.. all the cell phone technologies. This year ATT is rolling our 3G highspeed service to a few U.S. cities.
I went to the doctor today about my abdominal pain. I think it is something wrong with my liver. They took blood and I need to get an ultrasound. I'll find out soon.
Sometimes I think all I have left is my work. I don't take it seriously enough to make something of it yet. I have a whole lot of websites I am working on right now. Which one will be a success? Probably none of them. The phone website I have been working on is coming along well and will be launched in a few weeks. Also the software for two other websites is nearing completion. Other than websites there is nothing. I just wander around doing nothing, watching idiot after idiot walk bye me further degrading my opinion of humans. I don't even know that that means. Ah well. I think I have some type of organ or rib problem. Extreme discomfort has plagued me for a few weeks on the right side of my lower torso. Hopefully I'll die soon, ha. I start work soon, which is good. I will actually be doing something I want to do. Still remains to be seen if I will actually like it. At least the money is ok. My ribs really hurt right now.
Not sure if the title is the proper way to spell that but ah well. I got the position at MBNA. Even if I just work there two months it will be great. I will be able to save a bunch of money. If I work there to the end of the year and really save a lot of money I will either be able to go to animation school or pay off half my school loans. This is great I needed this job. Just working there will also open up more opportunites as I will gain valuable experience and be able to say I completed a project for MBNA. Time for the piss test.
Not have a regular 9-5 job is the greatest thing in the world. I have been working out and working on websites like crazy. Even if I don't get this job at MBNA I will still have a chance to do something with the websites I am working on now. Two of them are really progressing and a third seems even more promising than the other two.
I have been looking up Ful Sail on the Internet. I have read both good and bad things. Pretty much an even amount of things. The impression I get from people who say bad things is that they were possibly expecting something else, something to actually make them ready for the film industry. I already have a college degree and it seems to me that one should already have a college degree before going there. What I am looking for is I think exactly what they offer. I am not a newbie at computer animation or film but I am not expert either. I think it would be much harder for newbies to get something out of this school than someone who already has some knowlege. Basically what I am looking for is experience in working on the type of equipment and software that are used by movie studios and whatnot. Also just to fill in the gaps of my current knowledge of computer animation and film. Most important is to buttress the knowlege I already have with known priciples. I have such a intense interest in this stuff I am just looking to hone my skills and make myself more marketable to animation houses and whatnot. The demo reel I have is rather pathetic in my opinion and the animation I have done is rather basic and unimpressive. I am looking for a place where I can finnaly focus all my energy on creating something great. I have ideas just never the focus or equipment to put something awesome together. There are glaring holes in my knowledge and skillset that need to be filled, such as color correction techniques, character animation, texture mapping, lighting, etc... I have such basic knowledge of that and haven't sat down to try and improve those skills. I want to do both computer animation and film. I want to animate characters and write scripts. Well I will research more about that school and others. More importantly I will try and get back into that kind of thing but websites are my priority right now since they pay the bills to some extent.
Been thinking about that job a lot. I am now operating under the assumption that I didn't get the position. I need money bad. I have some cash out there that I need to send invoices out for but that won't come for a few weeks. Well its back to being a loser. Thought I had maybe raised myself up a level. Guess not.
Been thinking about going to school for Computer Animation or Film. Looking at Full Sail as a possibility. Expensive but I have heard good things about it. Besides when you went to Villanova for a 4 year degree everything else is cheap in comparision. It will probably cost between $30,0000-$40,0000 to go there. But it might be worth it. I never really have had any formal teaching in that area, yet it is the area in which I have the most knowledge and am most interested in. I sent am email to them asking for more information based on whether I get this job or not and where I am at with websites by the end of August I will decide whether to go that route. If I do go there I probably wouldn't begin until next year anyway. January 2005 most likely.