A lot of tedious work lately. But work that needs to be done. Lots of projects that I am working on and I am pumped about all of them. My full focus is on projects now which is spectacular. Ok no time for to much blogging, back to work.
Productive meeting today, hammered out a lot of the design and architecture as well as began to talk about pricing structures. Its refreshing to work on something and talk to someone who knows what they are talking about. Not enough of that recently. Toiling through some tedious website updates right now, should be done with them in a few hours. Then it is back to the projects. Ok, back to work.
Sunny day today, sun is good. Meeting with an associate today about a website that we discussed about 6 months ago. Monetary compensation may be limited but the learning possibilities are high and right now I can afford to go for learning instead of the cash. Ok time to go.
It is getting colder outside and I don't like the cold. I need someplace tropical or at least warm. Still basking in the glow of my exit. Feels good to stick it to them after taking so much bullshit. I don't know what they think of me but it is probably wrong. They will probably dismiss it eventually as young, brash, naive developer comes in and can't hack it. Very disappointing if they only believe that without at least investigating the real issues. I wear my exit and the way I did it as a badge of honor. Enough of that trash for now I got bigger fish to fry
I have a bunch of websites to work on right now, some I am getting paid for and others hold the promise of getting paid. The NYC trip is looking solid for next weekend. Getting more comfortable with Linux and learning more by continued reading.
Been thinking about business recently. Specifically the modern corporation and how they came to be. I think the modern corporation began to develop with the industrial revolution. Sure commerce was around before that but the Industrial Revolution changed commerce and it began to develop into what it is today. There is so much more to that statement, but I won't pursue it now. I can't shake the thought that corporations' concern with the bottom line seems flawed. Maybe it's not flawed but I think there is something shortsighted in how corporations go about making money. I want to argue that they would be more successful using a radically different approach to things. Not just business organization but the ultamite aim of business not being profit. I don't even know where to begin with that thought but I am working it out constantly in my head, maybe I'll come up with something, maybe I won't.
I've said this before but I will repeat it. I hate how symbolic organizations take credit for things and make you think that you owe it something. Its freaking weird. I don't get it. The parts that make up organizations are treated as if they don't exist and the organization is an entity unto itself. It is like thanking a pharmacuetical company for keeping your cancer in remission and completely ignoring the team of scientests who created the drugs in the first place. Never should an individual feel they owe anything to an organization, a symbol. There is too much of that, too much alligiance to symbolic entities. In some cases it may be good but it is getting perverse now. The electric companies don't provide the electricity it was the engineer who built the generator,the technician who layed the lines, the programmer who created the software, they guy sitting at the power station late at night making sure shit doesn't go wrong. Those people are trampled upon. They are trampled upon with the promise of something better, the promise of protection, the promise of stability. Those promises are used by certain people to seize control and pursue their own gains. What to do? I don't know. We can't possibly prop up every single individual on a pedestal, but we can't be subservient to symbolic organizations controlled by people with designs that are not to your best interest. What do you do? Gotta do something, try something. I'm hungry, time for some food
I am finally done at my former workplace. I didn't even feel the need to be cordial on my way out the door. The finger would have been too vulgar and probably too nice so I left by sending a nasty email out. I really only think a handful of people there are morons but I figure the others I sent the email would get a kick out of it anyway. My boss is a complete phony, I bought into his act for too long, thinking he wanted to actually do something. All this guy is interested in is looking good and playing nice not actually accomplishing something. I think I have run out of things to say about that place. I'll be able to use these extra two days nicely.
Well as it turns out the movie Office Space portrayed the workplace quite accurately. Recently a co-worker of mine received a promotion. Just as Peter Gibbons got his promotion after ignoring all the rules and goofing off, my co-worker received his promotion only after reducing the quality of his work and increasing the quality of his bullshit. Previously he was a motivated individual producing top-notch work. I salute this individual as I may be on the same track as he is by being less productive and more useless.
I need to get my online portfolio site up. I figure it will increase my chances at getting better position. Time to go bust a shower right quick.
Being at work is like pissing into the wind.
Fucking clowns at work, I feel like I was freaking robbed of the last 3 months being there. Ok so I did make more money than I would have not being there, but it put me so far behind in my projects. I spent more money on food and gas by just going there everyday. Even if I can just create a solid portfolio of work by finishing up the projects I have, even if I don't make any money on them. I'll be in a great position to either start more projects or at least get a better job somplace. Now that I am finnally toying around with GNU/Linux, Java, Oracle and C/C++, I'll have a big hole in my knowledge base at least partially filled.
Did some website work today. Not as much as I wanted to but I did figure out a few things as far as design goes for one website. I have the base design in my head and will start working on the HTML in the coming days. The History Channel is great. I just hope their programming is fair handed and accurate. You can't believe the news anymore they don't tell the truth. I guess at one point the news was a place to get the truth. Not anymore almost all news media is dirty, unfair and underhanded. The news is as reliable as some dudes webpage on the Internet. I guess the only place to get solid info is books. Even they have their biased garbage. I guess humans are just not interested in what really happens just what they perceive. Even the science is based on perception defining reality. Which is good as long as you recognize that perception may change and you always search for enhancing perception and finding out more. I don't know what a lot of scientest think, sometimes they are painted as arrogant know-it-alls and some probably are. But I am not sure, I just hope that despite all the knowledge of science that there is always more and more to be discovered. Some of probably like that, but I have an inkling of a thought that too many are narrow minded and don't think enough, they just process data. I don't know.
This weekend will be the first in two weeks that I am not tied up with something else. I'll be able to get a lot done. I think I will add some enhancements to the posting engine I have created. Some basic administration tools and more organization for the posts (by Month archive type thing).
Begining to think more and more that the possibility of building a spaceship is very real. Before it was sort of an impossible dream that I was going to seek out until my last days but it seems very possible now. As I have said before as I learn more, less and less things impress me, especially in relation to human achievements. That is why I don't want to raise any accomplishment on a pedastal because I always have some greater idea in mind. I am not sure what will be the one thing or group of things that will impress me but it will be grand no doubt. Then again maybe that is the great part about progress. Nothing is particularly impressive, just an amalgam of various accomplishments on a timeline. Being impressed will be relative, what is impressive today is old-hat tomorrow.
Had some soda sitting on the counter for about a week. Been working on websites a lot. Still have not gotten a handle on a solid orginization. I have folders and keep good records of what I do. When work sometimes my thoughts wander and I can't focus. Other times I can't seem to stop working and my focus is incredible. I got nothing to say.
Have I given up? Maybe. Those assclowns at work have me doing even less than I was before, more precisely I am not motivated to do anything anymore so I have nothing to do. Absolutely nothing happens, more posturing and weak commitments, no real action. They will always move at whatever pace some moron deems suitable. Fucking place is run by idiots. Pathetic, but what I am to do anymore. I just look for things to amuse myself with and ways to piss people of. Seems I am at the point where I could do anything and everyone would just ignore me. I'll hang around and take whatever money they give me for the next few weeks for doing nothing. Good thing I only go in two days a week, still seems like a drain of my life, those two days.
It is getting so bad with negligence and cover-up there has got to be a swing back sooner or later. People can't stand for this trash. But they do, the attitude is one of complacency. Numbed by the percieved pleasures and conveniences of life. Never of progression or action. When I think about it, and maybe I am wrong, but the progression of mankind has come in bursts. Seems like long periods of inactivity then someone comes along with an idea and there is a sudden burst of activity followed by leveling off then more inactivity. Is something wrong with me? Is my impatience and frustration with what I perceive to be ineffecient processes wrong? Is my drive to actually do something wrong? Should I just be laying back and be happy with the current state of things and assume that is will just get better eventually? Disgusting, what should I do? Wait...wait until what? Until when? Until my spirit has been crushed and I have no desire to do anything anymore.
Been continually playing around with GNU/Linux. It is pretty easy once you get the basics of how everything is organized. I am speaking mainly of the file system and where things are. Being a former DOS junkie command line interfaces are nothing new so it is easy to pickup. Still trying to get used to where things are. The GUIs available for Linux are cool. Will probably take me a few more months before I am comfortable enough with Linux to start doing more technical things. I want to do some embedded system programming, maybe get more into C and C++. I have done some C, but it was very basic stuff.
Been thinking a lot about software patents and whatnot. I desperately want to make the software I create free to use and modify but I have school loans to pay off and I need money. What do I do? It is a horrible machine that we live in that inhibits creativity and forces people to contiue to support the machine in order to live. How do you break the machine, how do you redesign the machine, how do you stop the machine? I am thinking you have to be on top to break the machine. You can't break it from the bottom. You have to use the machine for your personal benefit then destroy it. Unfortunately very few who use the machine to get ahead attempt to destroy it. I will try going the traditional way first, use the machine for my benefit. If I get ahead then I will destroy the machine.
Nothing interesting recently. The drive to acquire monetary wealth puzzles me sometimes. It seems empty. My drive is to do things, unfortunately the machine is setup in such a way that you must have money before you can do most things. So you spend most of your life trying to get money to do other things. The machine has a weakness and I will find it eventually or die trying. There is something there one can exploit to destroy the machine. I don't know what it is but there is a weakness. I'm bored.
I installed GNU/Linux on a few computers I had lying around. The only thing that Windows really has going for it is hardware support. There is just not enough hardware vendors supporting linux. As for GUI GNU/Linux has a better GUI than Windows and it is more customizable. Software is available that will do everything you can do in Windows. With the exception of games. I feel like although GNU/Linux is ganing in popularity no one has really approached it in the right manner to unseat Windows. Partially due to the fact that there are not as many people knowledgable in GNU/Linux as there are in Windows. One could probably replace almost all business desktops with GNU/Linux through a GUI that looks like windows and the users would never even know they were not using windows. As for performance, on the computer I am running now there seems to be very little difference between it and Windows XP that was formerly on the computer. With a lot of software moving to web-based interfaces GNU/Linux can really take hold. I have this vision of all software being based on XML data and linked to the internet. Every software program would just be a specific editor for XML data grammars, with linkage to the internet managed by the OS. OS would contain basic programs but most users would use web-based programs. I guess it could be done with GNU/Linux now but there isn't a standard defined for web-based software or a group of apps to provide web-based software in a one place that is useful. If someone could provide a single service that provided a core set of web-based applications that would simplify login and interface into a single website that would be great. Something like having web-based email, presentation collaboration, word processing, search, multimedia, and specialized programs for particular industries in on service would be great. A business user would only need to be in one interface all day. An IM application linked to the web-based program would be the core for real-time notification services (email, alerts, system updates). But everything would be done in the browser.
I don't think the average computer user realizes how much more simplified a customized GNU/Linux GUI could be. Windows as easy as it is, sometimes is just to complex for some users. Particularly business users who rely on certain applications. This is such a dearth of business application out there that suck ass but companies make money off them because they are the only ones available. Someone could really clean up by providing high quality web-based applications using GNU/Linux as a suggested OS. I see most business users only use a few different applications and often they are locked into using Windows because of the one specialized application they use only runs on Windows. All other applications could be replaced by equally as good software (email, browsing, word processing). No one out there is promoting this idea. There is RedHat which is primarly promoting the OS as their attention grabber, but that is not going to sway the desktop user. I don't think the average desktop user really cares what OS they are on, they just care about the software that it runs.
Admittedly there is not as much software available for GNU/Linux as there is with Windows. Overall quality can be debated but overall the quality of software on each OS probably evens out. Unless I am misinformed there is no company avaialable that provides unified web-based application suites for the desktop user. The proliferation of Internet access is going to allow that to be possible soon. It will be hard to break the monopoly of Windows though. You have to attack vertical markets first. I would start with non-profit organizations. With these statements I wouldn't even advocate one OS over the other,the OS wouldn't be the battleground anymore.
It is getting colder and that freaking blows. Work is boring as hell. Going to bring in my Gamecube and start playing Madden at lunch. That will fuck with people nicely. Will visit NYC in a few weeks. Just a short trip 2-3 days.
Work is fairly uninteresting. I've gotten used to the ineptitude of people, though there is the ocassional happening that gets me going. Other than that there is not much that goes on. I've worked out a compromise to stay part-time for a little longer. It is on a trial basis so I'll see how that works out.
Everything is boring. Wrote down a list of my current projects and have a good idea of how I will approach them from here out. This weekend I will be able to finish the script and on Monday begin the patent/trademark/copyright process. As the legal stuff is going on I will then work on the website, marketing plan and an automated distribution options.
Work is really boring most of the time. I read comics and play video games as much as I can, to try and occupy myself when I am not writing the occasional paper.
I've wondered since the begining, still have no evidence of it, but is somebody on the take? I am not specifically looking for evidence but I will keep my eyes open. This company is going to get screwed by their vendors with help from their own internal people. Sickening it is. I think whatever vendor they contract to do things will take advantage of the fact that they do not have technically knowledgable people internally to watch what they are doing.
For the moment things have settled down with outside stuff until next week. It will pickup again then. I still need to finish my script and begin the patent process. I have a initial plan to work through and complete the major projects I have by the end of the year. Which, if successful will put me a a good position for a lot of things. Maybe even moving on to making movies.
Everyday I am there I hate it even more. Only because it is taking away valuable time that I need, to do other more worthwhile things. That fucking company is more screwed than they know. It will take them 5 years to fix that system and it still won't be right.
These are jobs that I need to save and apply to later on.
http://www.craigslist.org/pen/cpg/43491252.html
http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/art/43410079.html
http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/art/43435575.html
http://www.craigslist.org/sby/art/43200456.html
Two more weeks. Of doing nothing mainly. Just some BS work with transitioning a new developer into my position. Its funny how they tried to convinve me to stay, but I never saw any action on their part just words and promises. Are they stupid, don't they realize that is the reason I am leaving, lack of action. Well now I will be able to work on my other projects. It is pretty boring here, no more interesting stories. The same crap still goes on, so while they make promises that they will do something I watch as stuff to the contrary happens as they are promising me.
Still waiting to hear back from recruiters on jobs. Still have hope that I will find a position on the West Coast. If I can find a job out there by the end of the year then that will be fine. I should be able to without any problems, especially once I finish some of the outside projects I am working on.
I am so bored right now.
Since my official resignation was put in everything seems really tense around the office. There are some people who come to ask me about what happened and champion my cause while others just smile and nod without ever even mentioning it. There is also the matter of my boss. He seems to be avoiding me, I think, I can't be sure. The sucky part is that it is him that will probably get the most heat from my exit when it is a whole bunch of other people besides him that are responsible. I should send out a mass email to the division telling them the real story, because this is pissing me off. Because my leaving or staying won't change anything I could at least get out one final word. Could I stay and try to change things from the inside. Yes I could do that and it may work, but there are no guarantees the chances are the same as if I go on my own. There is no real advantage here, it is a matter of choice.
Seems like they are scared, shook, in a desperate situation. Mainly because they know I am right and the reasons I give them for my departure isn't some half-baked decision, they are valid. The sad part is, that they will probably put blame on themselves or me when the real culprit here is a company that handcuffs its employees and forces them to be magicians to get simple things done. If they can realize that then I will have made a difference if they don't then I have done nothing and they will find themselves in this situation again.
Just being at the office makes me angry. FUCK!