Wednesday February 2, 2005 - 5:59PM EDT
Well, it started with the shopping and now it has gone to the next level. Today I recieved a full facial and glycolic peel from my friendly neighbohood Aesthetician. I sat on a ergonic chair, got a 10 minute steam bath for my face and listened to soothing atmospheric music. The whole procedure took an hour and I got free samples of toner and french named moisturizer. The glycolic solution stung like a mofo for the first few minutes. Beauty is pain. I have nothing else to say nor should I.
Tuesday February 1, 2005 - 1:47AM EDT
So I am just about finished Huff's site, looks much better and is much ore functional than before. A soon as I finish it I'll do the other Huff's site. Still waiting on some paperwork for Linkzu so I can setup the bank account and finish the payment setup, shouldn't be much longer (maybe a week or two). I am really lazy, I don't know what I did last week but it was much of nothing. I don't know whether it is lack of motivation or just horrible time management, either way I don't accomplish nearly enough during the week. There is the occasional week that I turn into a machine and churn out reams of work but they need to be all the time. Speaking of my machine like work periods, I was sitting in the diner tonight with a friend of mine and we were talking to the owner who he is good friends with. Somehow the conversation came to me working 20 hrs on the comptuer somedays. The owner then asked me "so how many hours are you with a woman?" I wish I had a clever reply but I didn't...I gotta stop lamenting my pitiful life in the blog. I threw away that mouse today, I think it might have been starting to decay, nasty.
Monday January 31, 2005 - 2:00AM EDT
As I was walking out of the supermarket at 1am posting material was just exploding from the seams. It is late so there is no one at the checkout line. I put my items on the belt and wait for someone to show-up. I take a look at what I am buying and well...I'll go over that later in the post. What can only be described as poor-man's hippie walks in and says "sorry, hope I didn't keep you waiting." I could have been waiting there for an hour, it really was of no consequence to me so I smiled politely and said "no, just a minute." The cashier is talking with this other dude that looks about 15 and they are trying to recall someone who used to work at the supermarket when the cashier's friend asks if the person they are trying to remember was "colored." I was like, this kid must be from South Africa or something because I've never heard someone his age use "colored". Usually it is more specific, white, black, puerto rican, etc... There wasn't any malice in the words and it wasn't an offensive reference. I just thought it was weird for someone to used the word "colored" in that context. Was I in Alabama in 1964? It was strange no doubt. As I was walking away the conversation shifted to why roles in a particular role- playing-game are "like that," because of the "characters people make." Oh yeah back to what I purchased. Just call me Suzy because I shop like a bitch. I bought a comb, a brush, 6 bars of Dove sensitive skin, Nutrogena pore refining cleanser, Herbal Essences blackberry/mango shampoo, 8 butter croissants, fat free lactose free milk, carton of strawberries, pomegranate mango juice, 4 organic gala apples and chilled vanilla chai tea with soy milk. I probably left my penis back in the produce section. Everyday I ask myself the question "Is this my life?" Apparently not only do I have no purpose, live in my parents house, hermitically seal myself away from the rest of the world, walk around in a delusional euphoria most of the time and have no discipline to finish anything but I also shop like a little woman. I am offering all my worldly possesions to the person that does the humane thing and ends my drain on society. I'm not complaining, am I? Oh man is this my life? In other news there is a dead mouse under the sink that I need to get rid of. Oh yeah, Huff, I figured out the positioning thing, that is what was holding things up, I should have everything finished by Tuesday. Jody, I sent the check out, hopefully you got it. Everyone else, I hope your life is more fulfilling than mine. This is sick, I fucking hate this, what can I do, what can I do?
Monday January 31, 2005 - 1:18AM EDT
I pretty much laughed at people when we were graduating high school and going to college same with graduating college and moving on to the real world. Everyone was so worried about what they were going to do and what the next steps were. I wasn't worried in the least. I remember my high school guidance consuler asking me about college and I was like "whatever I'm not worried" and she was just shocked at how laid back I was. So whatever schools she recommended I applied to. Got accepted to all of them and just happened to pick Villanova. Although I was depressed throughout almost all of college, what I was going to do after I graduated never crossed my mind or made me worry. Well the shit has hit the fan.
Sunday January 30, 2005 - 3:45PM EDT
My frequent flyer accounts are linked and ready. I could leave this week if I wanted. I just can't wait for the warmth and the sun. I will leave just after the Superbowl. I have enought points to get two roundtrip tickets. I figure I go there and scope things out see about housing and job situation, then come back here tie up loose ends and move out there. My loan situation will be taken care of by the spring so I won't have to worry about that. I carry no credit card debt and don't have a car payment. So by the spring I'll be completely debt-free and ready to start fresh. The only thing I have to resolve are the my two web design clients. I should be able to keep them since all the work I do for them is remote. All my projects are web-based so that won't suffer. I'll be gone by May. This will be good, a change of scenery.
Sunday January 30, 2005 - 12:31AM EDT
When I was outside earlier today, I thought wow it is warm out. It was 36 degrees outside and I thought it was warm. This is because it is usually 4 degrees. It is suppose to go down to zero one of these days. Zero. This is senseless, I have already signed up for the frequent flyer account and I am awaiting the program to be linked to order my plane ticket to the West Coast. Sun, warmth, happines? I can't take this single digit bullshit anymore.
Been thinking about the various projects I am working on. There are three that I think have a chance of making enough money to support myself. I have long since begun working on all three of them and one is soon to launch. I don't know what else to do with myself. Maybe I should get a part-time job somewhere. Minimum wage is garbage, a person can't support themselves on minimum wage. It is pathetic, in our country minimun wage should be at least $15/hr. That is a living wage. A read a report recently that said minimun wage wasn't nearly enough for one to support themselves above what is considered the poverty line (which is also another incorrectly set standard). Where is all the money going, and what is the deal with working people to death doing nothing. So many companies require you to pour your life and all your time into working for them. These same companies would be rid of you anytime they felt neccessary. I'm trying to figure it out, this shit ain't working. Why can't I find a decent place to live in the city and get a simple part-time job doing whatever that pays a comfortable wage. Yeah I know, it sounds insane, impossible, ridiculous. But to me it makes sense. Is it just a tradition and standard that skews everything towards the top? I guess it has just been that way forever. Why do most people have to work long hours at thankless jobs just to support themselves, just to make ends meat in many cases. It is a system that has grown into what it is today. I don't know, all I do know is that this shit we got now is garbage.
Wednesday January 26, 2005 - 9:02PM EDT
This is what I'm headed for. Story
Wednesday January 26, 2005 - 2:40PM EDT
Went to the local chinese buffet for some steamed vegatables today, of course they didn't have any so I had to settle for the sauteed string beans and broccoli (i swear they had them at one point). There was one person there when I walked in and as soon as a I sat down the parade of pathetic souls began. Man after man walked in one by one getting a single table and eating alone. Not that I hadn't realized before, but I was part of that pathetic parade. I don't want to be that guy, eating alone at the chinese buffet until I die. Oh man, kill me now.
Monday January 24, 2005 - 5:04PM EDT
Sent of the first set of paperwork in the final steps in setting up bank account. I'll wait until my Amex billing cycle turns over before singing up for the hosting account. It will be good to just get away from that project for a few days and come back to it with fresh ideas. Should buy me more time with paying off things too. I'll be working on other websites while I wait for that to process. Chad Lewis is out, that sucks, he is clutch. But TO will be back.
Sunday January 23, 2005 - 11:33PM EDT
I hate this fucking cold weather. Eagles are in the Superbowl and that is great. On Monday I'll send out the paperwork need for the next steps. About a week away from launch and most everything is in place. I need to get my plane ticket for San Francisco this week. I'll schedule it for sometime in February. Need to do some other pressing website work this week. Ehh...
One of my greatest fears is stepping outside the house one day on my way out somewhere and a cougar jumping out of the bushes and attacking me. Everytime I leave the house I ominously look at the bushes just waiting for the cougar to attack.
Sunday January 23, 2005 - 7:09PM EDT
Who whould have though Chad fucking Lewis would catch two TD passes. Fucking awesome. Now if I could only parallel their success in my pathetic life. Probably not. In other news, I am hungry.
Saturday January 22, 2005 - 7:06PM EDT
This is trash, total trash. I hate this fucking cold weather. I want the dewy moist warm air of a Hawaiian breeze. Fuck you Joe bu.
Saturday January 22, 2005 - 1:46PM EDT
What the fuck, fucking snow, fucking cold. This shit is garbage. You know where I should be right now. In my apartment in the city working on a screenplay, watching as the LinkZu orders come in at a steady rate and having sex with my girlfriend. But no that is not the case, I am living in my fucking parents townhouse in the suburbs, broke as all get out and I'm looking around this room and don't see any females. Fucking bullshit.
Saturday January 22, 2005 - 6:48AM EDT
4 fucking 4 degrees. I am going to murder the next person I see.
Saturday January 22, 2005 - 6:05AM EDT
It is 4 degrees outside. 4. This shit has got to go, what the fuck. 4, that is the temp, not even the wind chill. 4, that makes no sense. Fuck.
Friday January 21, 2005 - 11:53PM EDT
I fishtailed my car on road gravel speeding out of the Wawa parking lot today. It really isn't as exciting as it sounds. Fucking cold, I hate this shit and now snow, what the fuck.
Friday January 21, 2005 - 2:40AM EDT
I hate this fucking cold weather. It has been below 20 degress for three days. The wind chill was -3 a few days ago. Again I am tired of just about everything, I have nothing to say right now. I wish I has an interesting anecdote of some sort, but I don't. Beans and disease to you.
Thursday January 20, 2005 - 1:57AM EDT
Been gathering a list of tool directories to make the first marketing push for LinkZu. My goal is to gather 100 website tool directories to submit too. So far I have 15, only 85 more to go. It is free and it should provide some traffic to my site. I didn't even think of this as a first step until my designer friend metioned it to me. Makes perfect sense, as I don't have to spend any money to get listed. As much as I want this thing to explode right away, the reality is that it is going to take a good amount of time to get anything going. I need to stop obsessively working on LinkZu so much, I negelect other work that actually brings in money and other work that I should be doing such as art websites, I need to better manage my time. For the next few days though I'll be getting the business side of things setup. I won't make the 24th launch but that is ok, because it will take time to setup all the bank stuff properly. This site is basically done, the main thing now is setting up payment processing. There is some other minor details with content that I will complete once the banking is setup.
I'm terrible at managing my time and managing anything. I'm the idea man, I can figure things out, there is no such thing as impossible as far as I am concerned. It is the little deatils and suddle practical nuances that I suck at it. Besides the tedium of simple tasks gets to me after a while, probably why I hate working for THE MAN so much.
As I am sitting here trying to focus (OK, so sometimes my focus is laser-beam like but usaually I am all over the place and my thoughts wander) I get this creeping feeling of dread. I live a pathetic life. Everyday I walk around the house in the same grey hooded sweatshirt, it is getting filthy, the sleeves are begining to turn brown. I'm almost 24 years old and this is what I am doing, living alone in my parents house obsessively working on crazy software ideas, shunning the outside world (except for the visits to the gym) for lines of code. What do I hope to accomplish? I don't know.
Wednesday January 19, 2005 - 2:54PM EDT
I hate this cold weather. It is snowing, that means I don't leave the house. Not with that rear-wheel drive monstrosity I am driving. I am back at Bally's regularly, I figure it was a way to get out of the house instead of doing free weights here all the time. They sent me a renewal special, $99 for the year, so I took advantage. I am still looking over internet merchant account providers, I think I have found one. The process to get that setup may take a week so I may not be able to launch the site on the 24th, even though the website will be ready. I am putting the final touches on the site right now.
In other news... there is no other news. No crazy characters at the gym as of yet. Trying to get my sleep schedule back to something normal instead of the graveyard shift I have been on the last few weeks.
Tuesday January 18, 2005 - 6:24AM EDT
I am begining to finally see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Less then a week away from my planned launch goal and I am on schedule. Well actually maybe slightly behind schedule. The only thing that may hold up the launch will be getting the license agreement written-up. Other than that everything is going smoothly. I got the templates from my designer and have merged them with the work I did. Everything looks awesome. I just need to make one or two more iterations over the whole site to get everything squared away, including the payment setup. Which I will signup for today. By Thursday I want to have everything ready to go and Linkzu firmly planted at its new home www.linkzu.com. On Thursday I will begin the ad designs and contacting the list of places I will be advertising, also I'll setup the AdWords and Overture accounts. So close, I can feel it. This has to work, it is a good idea, I have implemented the software properly, have value-added services, a snazzy website. I guess soon it will just be up to the marketing plan and whether people will want this. I already have ideas for enhancements and further marketing so if it takes off, or even just makes a little money, then I'm ready to expand and move to the next step. I actually have a bunch of ideas to enhance the software and really make it special, but what I have now is a solid start. The anticipation is intense, so close now, so close.