Dynamics
Wednesday March 8, 2006 - 8:08PM EDT
Today was awesome. Got a lot done on website projects. Everything is on a good schedule. I think I will try tonight and bang out some major work on a contract site I've been doing. If I do I will be way ahead of schedule. So that next week I'll be able to finish it up. My art hosting project is going well to. I'm on schedule to get the servers next week asuming I take care of all the administrative stuff and create the website in time.
Indoor soccer game tonight. It is a good workout. Team is getting better, maybe we will pull out a victory. When I glance over my previous posts sometimes, I see the horrific grammatical and spelling mistakes I make. I rarely review a post for those errors and you'd think I blog so much I would catch a lot of them before they got out. Nope.
You know what I find amusing? Being a casual observer to the relationships between other people. It is amusing to me how people will act one way to a person and think of them in a completely different way. Especially when I know both people and to me they are part of the same organizational group in my mind, but are adversaries in their world. I think maybe that I am so laid back about everything and will pretty much accept anything. Except THE MAN's foot up my ass! The banality of everyday life is such that to me all of these little things about people we make up in our head can't be taken seriously. Even to expect anything from a person or anybody is ridiculous on some level to me. Sure there are practical things you expect like them not killing you in your sleep but even that can be looked over sometimes. What pisses me off is how people we trump up little things but still accept things like garbage in a landfill as normal. I guess it is just easier to get pissy about someone not saying hello or shaking your hand wrong than it is to contemplate the consequences of burying garbage. It is easy to get into that mode though of focusing concern on insignificant things. Though everything is really insiginificant in my mind.
I'm begining to think about, again, the idea of a human goal. The illusion of a unified human goal. There is none. But you'd think that we did have one with all this morality and sanctity of life bullplop. It is just everyone selfishly pursuing a path to an end in which is unknown. No not even unknown. And end that is NULL. When I think of humans in the context of biological machines it gives me a sobering hope and confidence. That mystery is just a figment of our imaginations as much as is order. That there is nothing special about us in a larger context. That as so many have already said this life just piles up to one big nothing at all.
When I think about various views and opinions that don't fit with mine I always think in my mind why? But why holds nothing so then I go to other questions. What is this person expecting to achieve with this? Where are they going with this? In the context of biological machines I think the question of why is a fool's game. It is a mental trick our brains play on ourselves. I tend to think that the answer of why will always come down to some pratical or mundane set of details in a person's life. That the mysteries of motivation and why are illusions that we are not willing to probe deep enough to find the details. Just seems like when the question of why is brought up people will accept or make up anything to fit into it but objective. Indoor soccer game soon, must prepare.