Nothing Once Again
Sunday September 19, 2004 - 1:59AM EDT
How do I find the right type of work. How does once get a job with one of those technology companies. If I have to work for somebody I want to go someplace where they are committed to technology. Enough of these places where technology is secondary to everything else in the company. Most companies just don't know how to use technology properly. Always manage to fuck up something with the technology. I read about these people in magazines and on the internet who have done all these cool things with technology. Those are the people I want to work with, not these people who just know technology because it pays well, where it is just a job to them and nothing else. It is not just a job to me, I am always thinking about it. Even now at my current job when I go home I am still thinking about work and technology, even though I don't like the job anymore.
Maybe because I didn't go to MIT or that my degree is not in Computer Science is what is keeping me out of those technology companies. In my graduating class at Villanova, of those that graduated Computer Science probably only a handful of the graduates know anything substantive about computers. Yet somehow they will get the job offers I look for, bastards.
I dread going to work, mainly because it is so boring, it is starting to become more difficult to find things to occupy myself with. Come to think of it, all of the things I have done have been the result of my own volition. I have had very little in the way of someone telling me what to do. Which is good, but I have come up against someone telling me what not to do. So it has turned into me just poking, proding and investigating various routes of action until I find something with the least resistance. That method may work in some situation but for the current situation it is not the way to go about things. There is a specific goal but no plan, I am making it up as I go along but at the same time being urged in some ways not to. I could have had the project halfway done by now if there wasn't so much resistance in weird places. I'll go in on Monday and pick my ass most of the day, hopefully come up with something to do to prompt somebody to action. Seems like the only time anyone does anything related to the project is when I say something otherwise nothing gets done. I didn't think that was how a consultant is contracted. I am hired to do a specific thing, yet I don't think they know what they want me to do so I just make up things to do. This is pissing me off and as time goes on I get the feeling more and more that they really didn't need me to program they just needed somebody to finally shout out a wakeup call and urge people to get things moving. I get that feeling because of some things my boss has said to me. His words had this sense of "oh man the issues are turning out to be something else completely." I think that one, no one had a grasp of the true technical problems of the system and two the stance by certain people on the system was miscalculated. Now that I have uncovered the real problems and exposed the stance of certain people it is looking like maybe what I originally came there for is not the reason I need to be there. This is just pathetic I have a lot of outside things to work on but so little time to do them. I think right now I need to work on that stuff because it will be more helpful for the future than my current job. I could be wrong but I think this is a situation were my current job is doing less for me than I can do myself.