like i said
Saturday October 15, 2005 - 1:55AM EDT
Like I said my mind is teeming with thoughts. And I have to empty them somewhere or I really think my head will implode. I'm eating bologna and swiss with yellow mustard on wheat and rye. What the fuck is wrong with me. Nothing actually. Not with that sandwich. What is wrong is that while waiting in Wawa for the sandwich I had a 10 minute conversation with myself about what the statement "i don't want to sleep with you" means. Don't even try to guess where I went with that conversation because you would not even be close. Seriously, how I came to have the conversation I did about that phrase is mind boggling. But not as mind boggling as the content of the conversation itself.
I teeter on this edge, this beam if you will. I want to be the sleazeball of my dreams but I never quite get there because every shred of common sense, intelligence and experience I have says that you don't want to be that sleazeball. But then I look at where the hell I'm at now and think, how in the fuck is being a sleazeball worse than this. It is not like I would do anything illegal, I just want my id to take over. But I don't get there. Every chance I have to cross that line or make the jump I just don't. I don't even act outwardly like my id so desires. I keep smiling and doing what I'm told like a got damn slave. I really shouldn't use such imagery as it is offensive and really doesn't do justice to the slaves I am referring to situation. But for the moment I'm going to use it, even though the metaphorical connection is kind of a stretch. My fucking head hurts I'm going to sleep.
I get these monstrouse headaches. Nothing I take regardless of type or strength makes them go away. I don't think I know what I regular headache feels like anymore the only ones I get are this mind spliting fuckers that make it hard to even walk. Fuck.
You know why I hate those religious radicals and extremists terrorists that kill people for no reason. They are taking away the spotlight from the regular suicide cases and serial killers who do that shit just because they're just plain crazy. Why in the fuck do you have to come up with a "reason" to do that shit? Fuck that bitch, stop being melodramadic and go postal the old fashioned way. All over the place and without prejudice. Those fuckers are giving a bad name to suicide and murder. We can understand the crazy fucks, the pervets, degenerates, the depressed. These terror dudes are just plain annoying. I don't want to hear your philosophy on killing. Just put the bullet in my head or your head while yelling some nonsensical stuff about your cheating girlfriend, crappy paycheck or the squirels stealing your paycheck. Fuck this last paragraph sounds like a Chris Rock routine or some shit like that. Damn my rants aren't even original anymore. Fuck my head hurts.
Why do some losers have this fucked up idea that nature is perfect. What the fuck is that all about. Where in the hell did that shit come from. Besides the fact that perfection is the worst kind of subjective judgement calling nature perfect is just ludicrous. You call nature perfect you are essentially allowing anything and everything. Yet somehow those that want to assert natures perfection so much could be the most close minded hyper tight individuals ever.