The Cave
Saturday August 27, 2005 - 1:25AM EDT
Saw The Cave tonight. I've seen some bad movies and this was one of them. There were so many things wrong with this movie, not complex things, basic things. Things that shouldn't have been wrong. It wasn't as bad as the ultra stinker Boogeyman though. There is one glaring flaw in the story. It is a flaw that forms the crux of the whole story too. I couldn't believe they got this wrong. There wasn't even an attempt to try and get it right. The majority of people watching the movie wouldn't even know it, but any educated person who paid attention in biology had to realize it.
parasite - An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on or in a different organism while contributing nothing to the survival of its host.
That is a standard definition of parasite. Somehow the movie producers missed high school bio class. The whole movie was based on a what they called a parasite, however it wasn't a parasite. It was more of a symbiont. A parasitic relationship could be considered a type of symbiosis but in this case, parasite was not the right term. Before you shit your pants and call me ticky tacky realize that someone spent millions of dollars on a movie and couldn't even get a simple classification that you learn in high school correct. That is just a symbol of how bad the movie was. They couldn't have hired any science advisors for the film, because they didn't explain anything. And it wasn't that good of a thriller not to explain anything. It needed some scientific legs to stand on and it had none. It didn't have the right characters to facilitate a more scientific tone either. I couldn't go on. So I will. Character transition was abrupt for no reason. Characters just changed out of nowhere and the tension seemed so fake. The acting was horrendous. In a type movie that shouldn't have to rely of acting too much, it was just terrible. Dialogue was below average but was adaquate in most places. Scene transition was also terrible. They did this amaturish fade out fade in crap. I guess it was suppose to go with the whole dark cave motif. But it was really unecessary. Usually the best transition is just a staight cut, with some interesting camera work. The best transitions are part of the film itself not a fade or special effect. Maybe they didn't hire a DP (directory of photography) either or the director was sleeping the whole time. Also, the casting was terrible. It wasn't the right mix. Everyone was way too good looking and devoid of comic relief. Every movie has a comic relief part. It is usually good for a setup in a thriller to have a funny part to break the tension then sock you in the stomach with something fierce. The type of movie they wanted it to be didn't fit the story. And if you are going to take chances like that you have to do other things well. They wanted some kind of thriller/horror movie but it wasn't. The sci-fi elements seemed like an afterthought although the sci-fi is what the movie stood on. The screenwriter must have gotten confused and started out with something other than what it turned out to be. Maybe someone mangled the original idea and said lets do it in a an underwater cave. I think it tried to be Alien vs. Predator. But the problem with that is, those movie franchises have well known history and you don't have to explain a lot for the audience to understand what is going on. This movie explained nothing and had no previous movies to set the stage for it. Enough, time for bed.