Disgrace

Sunday August 7, 2005 - 2:56AM EDT

This particular blog entry has nothing to do with the title of it. But the title reflects two things I have been thinking about today, although I don't think I'll cover any of those topics. Just came back from a wedding. Second one of my peers from high school that I still keep in contact with to get married. And the third one will be getting married in two weeks. Seeing these people get married feels weird. It is not just them getting married either. It is them having jobs and responsibilities. Accepting what life is giving them. While my head is still in outer space and I refuse to accept what life is giving me. Like right now for instance. I have a job offer from a decent company that would provided solid steady income. Yet I don't want to take it. I don't want to be the slave to the man. I still think I can beat the system, or something like that. I still have the dreams of a little kid. When I talk of building a spaceship, I am dead serious. It is not some kind of joke. Sure it is funny, but I want a got damn spaceship. Side note, George Bush may go down in recent history as the most disgracefully unprepared and unqualified president of my time. Its all or nothing. If I can't have my dreams then I don't want anything else. I don't want to accept what life gives me (there is a certain meaning with that goes along with that phrase that I don't feel like explaining right now). So what do I do. I continue what I have been doing. Giving the finger to THE MAN every chance I get and keep rolling the dice. It is not exactly dice rolling, but there may come a point where my delusions may begin to have irreversible effects. I also need to learn to spell "delusion" right. I use it so much but have spelled it so wrong so many times.

For sure I am not the slacker loser who doesn't do jack shit and lives in his parents' basement. I live in the loft. No but seriously, I can continue this shit for to long or I will be that fucker.