What is this...

Wednesday June 1, 2005 - 9:07PM EDT

8:15pm on a warm spring evening it is still light outside and inside here I am sitting filled with a naseuating energy going stir crazy. The music from my massive mp3 collection serves as the background music to this soul grinding situation. Sure I have things to do but not the impetus to do them. I know that tomorrow I'll wake up and drag myself to a job that I don't dislike only because there is nothing else to do. But job aside that is not it. Job or no job it I am still in the same boat. One boat has more cash then the other, sometimes. I'm running over the projects and various things I have to do in my head and it seems like a meaningless mishmash of delusions, illusions and crack rock. Forget the fact that the past few days I've had wicked ass migraines. Which coincedentatly I read that extremem temperature changes is often cited as a trigger for migraines for a lot of people. It got really warm all of a sudden from 60 to 80 degree weather. I don't think it even matters whether I take the job or not. It will be the same empty directionless bullshit as always. Maybe I will take the job and just build up a stash of cash to blow it on a world tour after a year or so. Japan, China, Australia, Europe. Learn a bunch of languages (i've always wanted to learn french). Get material for movies. High speed internet world-wide means that I will be able to continue with my various side projects regardless. Maybe I just need to give a little bit here and get a lot later. This is all dependent on getting a considerable salary from them. If I do then I'll probably take it. It being close to my house is a big plus. There is almost no commute and that leaves lots of time for stuff. Also I would get paid time off. And I would get good experience with certain web technologies. What else am I going to do? Sit on my ass for another year while my projects progress just as slowly. Well, tomorrow will be the day that I settle everything. 100k a year here I come. Yeah right.